Hard week… but lots of love and reminders

Taken from my latest fundraising blog at https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/lykf/heather-snow-s-city-of-hope-she-has-enough-money-for-the-support-she-needs-in-los-angeles-#

My dad left Denver this morning. He’s been here since sometime in September. I liked to scare the living shit out of him every time he tried to leave prompting him to stay another month… and another week. This week was unexplainable low blood pressure, the ICU and a touch of pneumonia. I had this elaborate plan to wrap everyone’s Christmas presents and send them home with him last night, but, alas, Leukemia got the best of me and so Aunt Heather’s gifts will arrive a little late this year. 
Today i finally gave into the fact that I need a wheelchair. When I went to tell my nurse, I burst into tears right after I finished eating a mini-cupcake and had icing all over my face. Weapons with icing all over your face is certainly not the most attractive look, but I kind of gave up on that a while ago. My hair is clipped uneavenly, i don’t even remember where I put my bras and I haven’t worn makeup since High Plains festival where I performed three days after getting out of the hospital.  
I don’t remember having that energy. To stay up late, to stand up for more than a few moments. I’m eagerly awaiting Justin’s arrival so that I can walk downstairs which I am now afraid to do with no one else in the house. Not that it matters… i spend a majority of my time in bed anyway. 
So,being a teary eyed mess today, Emily told me that I need to remember the good times. And she’s right. In less than 10 days, I leave for a trip that is expected to save my life. Only three people have had this type of treatment before me in the world. It’s going to be a hard road, which we’re pretty prepared for.
ive asked you for drawings, ive asked you for pictures… and now I would like you to post a happy memory of us that we shared together. I’m no stranger to laughter, so this shouldn’t be hard.
And while we do that, let’s give my dad a big round of applause for sticking through the hardest stuff, my bad days, my good days and the birth of his granddaughter back home. I miss him already.
1 day until I’m scooting around in a (hopefully purple) wheelchair
9 Days until departure
10 days until I get to see a few Penn State Friends that are attending the Rose Bowl… down the street from where I will get my treatment
11 Days until I’m admitted to City of Hope and yet another round of chemo. Praying that my heart can hold up to another round and hoping that after all of this, I get to remember what it’s like to be me. In a body that works. 


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